Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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