Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
