Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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