her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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