Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
