Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
