i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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