Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My dick has a subreddit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
