Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just gift wrapped bread.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
