Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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