'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
