two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
