Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Help. Why am I so naked?
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