It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
