OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize