Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
