So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
