he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
