How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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