My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
