he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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