why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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