and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
