For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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