you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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