I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's blow job season.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
