So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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