Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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