He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.