Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

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  (248): Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit? http://tfl.nu/e30d
  Replies (24) Good night (7056) Bad night (737)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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  (973): her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/lrhx
  Replies (10) Good night (5278) Bad night (917)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving

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  (740): you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/qna9
  Replies (14) Good night (3336) Bad night (905)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  professor came back from spring break missing a tooth

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  (651): professor came back from spring break missing a tooth http://tfl.nu/mzcn
  Replies (8) Good night (7210) Bad night (830)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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  (219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2
  Replies (9) Good night (2494) Bad night (899)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

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  (902): This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D http://tfl.nu/3txw
  Replies (15) Good night (2456) Bad night (973)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.

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  (484): He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER. http://tfl.nu/q9ww
  Replies (12) Good night (1428) Bad night (532)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.

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  (785): well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo. http://tfl.nu/3cg7
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (595)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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  (615): That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion http://tfl.nu/imr6
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (369)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril

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  (931): Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril http://tfl.nu/vmx1
  Replies (9) Good night (293) Bad night (877)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.

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  (443): Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it. http://tfl.nu/cvh2
  Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (326)
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  (562): View more from California

  Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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  (562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (380)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.

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  (801): You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that. http://tfl.nu/if9w
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (345)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options

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  (859): I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options http://tfl.nu/2zyd
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (233)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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  (570): I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen. (1-570): T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met. http://tfl.nu/8lnr
  Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (632)

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