Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  hey call me

  (810): View more from Michigan

  can't. in the shower.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

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  (734): hey call me (810): can't. in the shower. (734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time. http://tfl.nu/i884
  Replies (9) Good night (1533) Bad night (613)
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  (585): View more from New York

  My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.

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  (585): My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon. http://tfl.nu/q628
  Replies (8) Good night (3691) Bad night (973)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  protesters in toronto definately have the best pot

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  (703): protesters in toronto definately have the best pot http://tfl.nu/s38f
  Replies (17) Good night (4681) Bad night (1133)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.

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  (859): I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay. http://tfl.nu/kwe9
  Replies (29) Good night (4419) Bad night (1831)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things

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  (706): She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things http://tfl.nu/lrvj
  Replies (23) Good night (4884) Bad night (1293)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.

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  (403): Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice. http://tfl.nu/ol36
  Replies (10) Good night (3547) Bad night (1099)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.

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  (318): I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change. http://tfl.nu/zbgz
  Replies (44) Good night (888) Bad night (3370)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.

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  (615): That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly. http://tfl.nu/01h2
  Replies (7) Good night (1973) Bad night (650)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

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  (814): So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird. http://tfl.nu/r3xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (551)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

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  (773): Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that??? (773): Found 2 Coors, problem solved. http://tfl.nu/6q5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1751) Bad night (513)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (1598)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.

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  (970): I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation. http://tfl.nu/iw3q
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1846) Bad night (479)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.

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  (501): Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago. http://tfl.nu/csbb
  Replies (6) Good night (1253) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  This was the best text I've ever woken up to

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  (734): I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck. (313): This was the best text I've ever woken up to http://tfl.nu/32h8
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (325)

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