i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem