found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.