Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
