Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
