Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
