Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
