you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
