I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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