its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
