I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
