I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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