And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize