please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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