Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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