smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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