Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
