im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
