youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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