I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
