She's JV to your varsity
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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