Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
