Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Two words: nipple clamps
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