I wanna bring you to show and tell
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.