All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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