I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.