fuck your aforementioned shoe
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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