discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever