me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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