You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
