It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
