there's paper in my vomit.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The adults are the big ones right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
