you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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