The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.