How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today