I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.