they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM