I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list