HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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