It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.