Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms