The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
