does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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