im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
